My dad is better than your dad.....
Three boys on the playground were bragging about their dads. One said. “My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a song and they pay him $50.” “Oh, yeah. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a poem and they pay him $100.” “That’s nothing,” said the third kid. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a sermon and it takes six people to collect all the money in the room!”
A joke about creation.....
An atheist scientist came to God and said, “We’ve figured out how to make a man without you.” God said, “OK, let me see you do it.” So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, “Oh, no you don’t. Get your own dirt!”
I don't want to go to church today!
A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!” “Why not?” asked his mother. “I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.” His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”
The coin toss.
By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. “Why are you so late?” asked his friend. “I couldn’t decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin,” said Bobby. “But that shouldn’t have taken too long.” said the friend. “Well, I had to toss it 35 times.”
Top ten reasons God made Eve.
- God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
- God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
- God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
- God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
- God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
- God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
- As the Keeper of the Garden, since he didn’t have metal sheds or greenhouses, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
- Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
- As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!”
- When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, “I can do much better than that!